We are family.

My dad is tracing our family tree, he's started with his dad's family and my mum's dad's family. So far we've found out that my grandad on his side comes from a family that moved around a lot and probably originally came from Ireland. My Mum's dad's side have almost certainly always lived in Sheffield. It got me thinking about what it must have been like to have seen it develop into the great Industrial City that it was and then it's rapid decline into having almost no industry of it's own.

The male side were nearly all steel workers as my own grandfathers were and I struggle to imagine what working next to several furnaces with dirt and dust clinging to the air must be like, and the noise must have been horrendous. And yet they produced good quality steel and were the best in the whole world at doing it.

It may seem strange but I am fiercely proud of the city of my birth and what my ancestors were part of - they did so much and got so little in return.

Official Weigh In 2

Well....1/2lb loss this week. I must admit it doesn't come as a surprise but it is rather a disappointment. I think I peaked too early last week and got a bit complacent about the whole thing. The target loss is half a stone, i'm now two pounds off with a week to go until my period with weight watchers comes to an end. I think I've got my work cut out this week.

An Eye For An Eye.

I saw Munich last night and it made me think about how nobody wins in this world. We perpetuate history over and over again. Why don't we learn that violence never solves anything? Short term gain by blowing someone up and being in the spotlight for a few years can surely only lead to the perpetrators being villified in all countries outside those that sympathise. This I am sure, benefits absolutely no one.

Cheaty McCheatson

Well, today I have been very bad on the food front. After a cracking start to the diet I have eaten everything in sight including some chocolate and a mini cheesecake. I now feel incredibly guilty.

I've seen an opportunity today that I think could be a good move, but there are pros and cons and I can't see past any of them. I've thought about it too long for it to be a clear decision and now the details are fuzzy in my head.

Official weigh in.

Well, the official weigh in comes in at 41/2lbs lost. I just hope I can keep it up, or at least continue to lose.

Unofficial weigh in.

It's been exactly a week since I started the diet and I've weighed myself this morning to discover i've lost about 6lbs. I'm really pleased with this because I've tried really hard and now it kind of makes me think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to lose about 3 stone and if I keep at it I'll be well on the way. Now all I have to do is join a gym and then I can alter my lifestyle as well. The thing is, I realise that my problem is that I'm lazy and as a result I procrastinate.

I've been thinking about taking a night course in something, possibly a language - I'm bored ninety percent of the time and as much as anyone says it's ok, spending too much time on the internet can never be a good thing. I was trying to think what I did before I had broadband and I actually couldn't remember. I think I went out a lot with my friends, but that's just not possible now as most of them live in Sheffield; which is somewhere that unless a job opportunity turns up I will probably never live again. It's strange because growing up seems to mean growing apart from all the people who have meant so much to you for a massive part of your life. We went to a club on friday that just reminded me so much of what my life was like in the mid to late nineties and how i'll never really get that time or that place back. This saddens me and I miss them all.

Ace!

It was me on that road
But you couldn`t see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn`t see me
And then flashlights and explosions

Roads are getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nigthmares
And sudden explosions

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What have I and what I ache for

I`ve got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
And what else is there
Roads are getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

There is no room where I can go and
You`ve got secrets too

I don`t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

Taken from What Else is There by Royksopp

well done!

I made a very large error today. I got overly excited about this whole weight loss thing and weighed myself. The good news is that I'm not any heavier..... I have however decided that if I don't at least lose a pound this week i'm going to stop all this diet rubbish and join a gym. I figure if I do enough exercise to burn off the calories I'm taking in, I MUST lose weight.

Are you hungry?

I am. Well I'm not, but I will be. I started weight watchers today, and i've become obsessed by counting points, and at the moment I'm well under my daily allowance because I don't want to go over my points. I do hope that I can keep it up for a month.

I think that you've got to be ready to give up something or it won't work. I'm just not sure that I'm ready....

Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues

I've just got back from a fantastic club, brilliant music, great venue - 12 people in the whole bloody building! And of those most of them couldn't dance. They fell into one of three categories:-

1. the hands in the air man, who does the country and western knees.

2. the punching the air in front of them man.

3. the pointy finger man.

Still, good night out.

Let it Rain

When I signed up to living in the North West I was not informed about the weather, it never ever ever stops raining, it's foggy for 90% of the time and it's COLD. It's rubbish. On a daily basis I am conforming to the Great British Stereotype and carrying an umbrella everywhere just in case.

In other news, A was really ill with a cold and came with me to jet wash my car, I was finding the controls a bit difficult and was running out of time, so he was badgering me to let him finish it. I accidentally lost control and sprayed him with the high pressure rinse. He looked like a drowned rat! I felt really bad but couldn't stop laughing, in fact I laughed so much I cried. I really am the worst girlfriend in the world! I did say sorry though, LOTS. In fact I haven't stopped saying it for three days.

whinge whinge whinge..

I'm exhausted. I'm finding work a real struggle at the moment. I feel like it's an uphill struggle all the time, and I think that having a constant cold isn't helping. It's not even the workload, I can do that with my eyes closed and without even thinking - maybe this is the problem. I need a new challenge.....

I'll shut up about this now though because I promised myself that this wouldn't be a whiney blog.

I've decided that I am sick of being fat and have taken it upon myself to do something about it, this has resulted in me going on a diet. I'm finding it very difficult because I'm hungry constantly - but I realise that this is a means to an end and so far I haven't cheated, maybe I'll get that summer bikini body! (yeah right). I'm so far on day 2, let's see how long this lasts.